Bad Habit

My other bad habit spoiling "BELLA" our fur baby
I have a bad habit, it is the habit of comparing myself to others. My family all tell me that I shouldn't do it because I am my worst critic. That is just what I do though. I know I'm not alone in this habit. My habit has pushed me however, to go on and do better things with my life. In some instances it has stifled me to just quit and give up. The mantra in my head goes like this: "they are so much more talented, creative, (insert word)". I knew when I joined the BJP that I would have a tendency to do either of the two, challenge myself or be stifled. So far I have noticed how easily some can open up and talk about the most intimate details of their painful days and it is released in their beautiful beadwork. That to me is truly art, if you can convey your feelings through a piece of your beadwork or whatever medium you are using. I don't feel I have reached that point yet. Even in my beadwork, I try to stay on the 'lighter' side. I have my share of challenges in life and so far my pieces have been about the seasons and how the seasons feel to me. Am I trying to cover up negative feelings by doing just positive things like the seasons? I'm an honest person and I should be able share easily. My goal is to look deeper and try to convey some of my inner thoughts and translate that to at least one of my monthly tags. That is hard for me to do and it will certainly come out when I least expect it. Scrolling through everyones blogs I have felt joy, inspiration, sadness, envy, annoyance and most of all an even bigger hunger for beading than ever before. The holidays are coming up and that always has a way of bringing out the emotions in me. Novembers piece will be about family.


Tracey N. said...

Good for you Jacquie, you are so in touch with your feelings really. You will know when you are ready to shre the "deep down emotions" with the world. Your work is beautiful. You are no less talented in what you do than anyone else. Thats the beauty of the BJP. I did an emotional piece one month dealing with my Fathers death, another rather emotional piece (comedy/tragedy) about lifes ups and downs then followed it up by a fun piece for Halloween! There are no rules, no predetermined subjects. You are free to do pieces that have lots of meaning, or mean nothing and are just fun! You can also do deep meaningful pieces that will have meaning, but only for you, or you can share with everyone. Thats the beauty of it! Just take a deep breath and enjoy the process. Sending out a big hug to you!

Carol said...

Hi Jacquie. I hope you get over comparing yourself to the other beaders in this project. Everyone here is unique in one way or another and you will reveal of yourself what you want to. You may find as you proceed that you will come to know other beaders a little better and it will be easier to share..or not. No matter. Be kind to yourself and enjoy what you create. The power is in the satisfaction.

Jacquie said...

Well I can safely say that one thing for sure is, how supportive this group has been, and I know I will learn a lot from everyone. I am enjoying the process immensely and I Thank you tracey and carol.